Let us think together

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Why do thoughts differ so much between the genders?

This post was motivated from a conversation with my girlfriend last night. About a year back I did not even know what a weblog was, even until about three or four months back I did not care much about weblogs. I started reading farsi blogs mainly because I will get some reading practice in farsi. But soon I got sucked into the the addicitve blog world. Anyways, I am digressing from the topic I have listed here. During our conversation last night my girlfriend noted that men predominantly tend to keep their blogs impersonal while women almost always make their blogs a whole lot more personal. I added to her point that men usually tend to talk more about generic things rather than about themselves unless a specific question is directed at them. I was wondering a few moments back why men and women think the way they do? Has evolution caused them to think in this manner? Or does the society impose upon the manner in which a man and a woman should think? Why do thoughts differ so much between the genders particulary when it comes to the manifestation of a personality?

posted by Vasu at 10:08 PM

21 Comments:

  • Vasu, ur girlfriend is quite perceptive in seeing there is a tendency for women to be sensitive to emotions and personal relations... while men tend to be more task-oriented

    Tis seems to be true even outside of blogdom in 'real' relationships too.

    I dun think its socially constructed, however. We are different and should celebrate our gender differences, drawing on each other's strengths in a beatiful dance of gender roles

    By Blogger The Hedonese, at 11:55 PM, August 06, 2006  

  • wellcome dear Vasu.
    تولد وبلاگ‌ات مبارک باشد واسوجان.ـ

    By Blogger Hermes Marana, at 2:01 AM, August 07, 2006  

  • welcome :)

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:10 AM, August 07, 2006  

  • First congrads on your weblog.
    then, I think both society and evolution have made the difference in man and woman views. evolution as they are born with different capabilities and wills... and the society, with more influence, as it dictates its anticipation to each gender differently (at least it is so in Iran). Lets consider the case that Anar has mentioned: women tend to make their blogs much more personal, while they usually dont find a trustful place (or person) to retell their thoughts and imagination but they feel this need to share their ideas with others. in old streets and alleys of Tehran (or maybe other cities as well) you would see still lots of women sitting together in front of their house (unfortunately no garden or backyard is available!) chatting about almost everything while they are looking at their children playing in front of them. I dont mean that weblogs are the same ''chatting place'' for women of course, but I'm trying to say that the society leads the feminine gender to develop her imaginations and thoughts, and consequently retell it in her privacy (like writing in her diary) or in the group of friends.
    on the other hand, men prefer to keep their thoughts and views not open to public. their discussions in weblog might be then, in a more pragmatic way.

    By Anonymous mirror, at 5:07 AM, August 07, 2006  

  • به نظرم کاملا درست می گی واسو. این موضوع انگار با گذشت زمان هم کمتر تغییر می کنه. یعنی با وجود اینکه زنهای امروز خیلی بیشتر نقش اجتماعی دارند، اما دغدغه شون بیشتر مسائل شخصی و جزئیه. دلیلش برای من هم همیشه سوال بوده
    حالا شما کی وبلاگ فارسی می زنید؟
    (شرمنده توی زحمت انداختمت انار جان، وسوسه شدم به فارسی بنویسم برای پ تون شاید اونم شروع کنه فارسی نوشتن)

    By Anonymous نازلی, at 1:16 PM, August 07, 2006  

  • Maybe writing a complete comment in Persian wasn't right... I just wanted to mention that I taught about the subject before, but couldn’t find any particular reason for this huge difference. I agree that, characteristically women tend to think more personally, whereas men don’t spend as much time thinking about personal matters… (Do men think that personal areas aren’t as much important and don’t worth spending time?)

    By Anonymous Nazly, at 1:27 PM, August 07, 2006  

  • Hello All,
    Thanks for all the comments. I am going to be out of town for about a week. So don't think I have abandoned my blog. I will try to sneak in and reply to comments as much as I can while I am gone. Please continue to post your views. Use my blog to carry on a discussion with or without me.

    By Blogger Vasu, at 1:57 PM, August 07, 2006  

  • This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Blogger Anar, at 3:11 PM, August 07, 2006  

  • This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Blogger Anar, at 3:13 PM, August 07, 2006  

  • Well, I have thought of other differences too. For example men seem to be very comfortable separating work from personal life. In a sense that if they have a problem in their personal life they can go to work and forget about the problem while they are there. As a book said once their brain seems to be consistent of many little bowls containing water. Bowl of work, bowl of relationship, bowl of children and the amount of water in one does not have anything to do with the rest of the bowls...for women it is just one big bowl and the water…well it just gets mixed up!

    This makes it hard for women for example in their professional lives. You see, the laws of the professional environment was written when women were not around so it is all based on how men are comfortable...their way of thinking is considered the right way.

    By Blogger Anar, at 3:16 PM, August 07, 2006  

  • welcome Vasu, or should I say dear aaghaaye P,
    I don't agree with "men predominantly tend to keep their blogs impersonal while women almost always make their blogs a whole lot more personal."
    I have seen many men whose weblogs are more personal than many women.Your/her statement is based on your observations and may not be true. So, I can't accept this claim without more justification.
    I also cannot accept her comment "In a sense that if they (men)have a problem in their personal life they can go to work and forget about the problem while they are there."
    I myself am a good counterexample of this! and all the men in my mother's side of family are more or less like me. So, my point is that this subject is at least not as clear as you think to me.

    By Blogger Pedram, at 9:53 PM, August 07, 2006  

  • Hedonese, I agree that men tend to be task oriented most of the time, and that it is true even outside the blogworld.

    By Blogger Vasu, at 2:01 PM, August 08, 2006  

  • Dear Mirror, I have seen similar settings in traditional India as well where women get together and share their lives with other friends. Perhaps men (atleast in the east) spend more time in a professional setting than women and this may cause them to be a little more restrained when it comes to expressing their personal life.

    By Blogger Vasu, at 2:05 PM, August 08, 2006  

  • Dear Nazly,
    Thank you for your comments (in Farsi as well as English!). I can't nail down a reason either, but we already have many good points raised here.

    Anar joon,
    I agree that men may be more successful than women in separating work from personal life, but I do not agree that they can just forget about it. Yes at moments where they are completely involved in something they may temporarily forget their problems, but isn't that true for women as well?

    I also disagree that men think that their way of thinking is hte right way. Yes there are chauvinistic societies in the world where women has less of a say, but it cannot be generalized.

    By Blogger Vasu, at 2:10 PM, August 08, 2006  

  • Pedram aziz,
    Thanks for visiting my blog!

    I am limited to what I know, so clearly my statements are based on what I have seen. So I am glad to note that there are many men (yourself included!) whose weblogs are personal.

    Thanks for all the comments people. I will try to peek and respond again within the next few days.

    By Blogger Vasu, at 2:13 PM, August 08, 2006  

  • Hi P, you mentioned to the point that has occupied my mind quite long time ago. The problem thatm me and boyfriend have ( not seriouse though) is that when I am sad or nervouse about something, I need to talk about or dicuss, scream, etc , , , whatever. but he just wants to keep silence and sit in a sofa without talking! ! ! At the beginning I was thinking he is so cool on that and he never is hurt as much as I do, but later I came to know he is also so sad and anxiouse on those period of time, but he prefers to be in silence. Actually all the times that I was thinking he is too cool and doesn't bother himself to discuss, he was also like me on the presuure of that discussion adn he was nervouse abot the issue. I undersood that our feelings are the same, but the approaches and reactions differes. After knowing this, I am much comfortable and relax now.

    I think all is the matter of mutual understandings, and respecting to the other one's reactions and way of thoughts.



    Congrats for the new blog, and i wish you two have a nice time in Canada.

    By Anonymous Scarlett, at 4:08 PM, August 09, 2006  

  • وبلاگ را تبریک میگویم ! هنوز هم فارسی می خوانی ؟

    By Anonymous mojdeh, at 2:07 PM, August 10, 2006  

  • 1.welcome and stay in tuch
    2.anthropolgists say that for thosends of years men hunting animals so it means consentrating on one target,wemen gathering fruits and grains so we can see the quncqunces on temprary human being.girls can work as good secreters answering fone at the same time typing,

    By Blogger benpirnia, at 8:09 PM, August 10, 2006  

  • It is an interesting point Scarlett. Men do tend to suffer in silence more often than not. Perhaps it has to do with the societal notion that men should be strong and display strength at all times. Displaying emotions, particularly when they are sad or worried, may come across as being weak.

    By Blogger Vasu, at 3:19 PM, August 12, 2006  

  • مجده عزیز, ممنونم. فارسی میخوانم ولی روان نیستم.

    By Blogger Vasu, at 3:32 PM, August 12, 2006  

  • Dear Benpirnia,
    Yes. Our historical conditioning has played a major role in the evolution of our behavior and actions. Surely this must have a big effect on the thoughts of men and women.

    By Blogger Vasu, at 3:38 PM, August 12, 2006  

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